OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize