What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize