We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
