The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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