marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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