Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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