she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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