It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
