We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
