i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
