after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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