Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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