That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
So squirting runs in the family.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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