it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
