I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I AM VODKA MAN
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
