i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize