Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
