kristin has been a bad kristin
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
