youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize