member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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