hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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