Swine flu is the new snow day.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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