I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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