Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
