At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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