oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
