xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Randomize
