and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
