You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
