I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
