conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
