Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
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