allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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