One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
