Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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