he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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