We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Randomize
