Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
