Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
