Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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