If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
