im about as happy as oj after his trial
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
