guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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