she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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