You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
