Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
