She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
