you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
