I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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