we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Terrible idea I love it
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
