I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
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