this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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