Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
