3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
