idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
