we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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