I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
