how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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