Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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