its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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