what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize