Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
