Your face is a jimmy john
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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