i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
