i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
