She's JV to your varsity
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
