i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize