Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Farmville is her only friend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
